Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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