Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
