Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
