i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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