Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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