Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
