i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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