Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
