what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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