i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize