I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
