Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
