hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize