I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
