Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize