what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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