So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
