I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
