I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
