eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
