i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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