If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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