I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
