so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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