she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
