Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize