I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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