susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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