Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
