We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
