We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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