It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
