her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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