When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
