do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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