u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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