The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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