i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
