and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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