Barsexuality is the new black.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
