Barsexuality is the new black.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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