my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
