K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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