Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
