Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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