Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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