would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
