you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
