And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
