3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize