I'm going to jail i love you
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
MIDGETS
????
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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