I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i already hear my dad disowning me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize