proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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