He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
"it" just moved
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
