watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
