Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
