I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
