i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
