So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
