So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
