Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
