you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
