Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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