Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
