grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
