Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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