this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
